“Wandering Eye” Syndrome is what boys have who tell us that “looking, as long as there is no touching” is acceptable. This is erroneous on all counts.
Not only is it disrespectful to openly gawk at a girl’s “goodies” (if you will), you are also making the girl you are with look like she either is stupid, or has no respect for herself. I am not aware of any self-respecting female allowing her man to do such a thing. If anything, the poor girl is just not aware of her man’s wandering eye, or has been manipulated by him into thinking it is acceptable.
I was seeing this guy awhile back who was everything a girl could ask for in a college boy. He was kind, considerate, liked to talk, made time for me, had similar interests as me, and, as a bonus, we had great chemistry. Unfortunately, he had a flaw.
His naturally flirtatious personality, which was a turn-on for me, permeated every aspect of his life, no matter what circumstance. It didn’t matter where we were or who we were with, if there was another female in his vicinity, he couldn’t help but make sure her attention was on him. Before we were exclusive, I tolerated this because I falsely believed that since he never forgot to “flirt” with me as well, it was fine.
It wasn’t until after we became exclusive that I realized his actions were making me look foolish. What did it say about me that I was fine with him being all over a random girl at the bar, and then immediately returning to me? We weren’t “bros” and I wasn’t his wing woman, but to everyone around us, we might as well have been.
I brought it up to him on numerous occasions, and he was extremely defensive. Despite all of his good points, I couldn’t pretend that his behavior didn’t bother me and carry on. Our relationship ended specifically because I would not tolerate his behavior, and he refused to accept the fact that his behavior was inappropriate.
Relationships are NOT the equivalent of being single, but coming home to the same girl every night.
Being in a relationship usually requires complete behavior reconstruction, even if you were great friends before. You cannot start a relationship assuming that she should trust you to not actually do anything with the females you are checking out or flirting with. That trust must be earned.
** Hey… no one said it would be easy, just that it is completely worth it for those who are ready for it. **