“Wandering Eye” Syndrome is what boys have who tell us that “looking, as long as there is no touching” is acceptable. This is erroneous on all counts.
Not only is it disrespectful to openly gawk at a girl’s “goodies” (if you will), you are also making the girl you are with look like she either is stupid, or has no respect for herself. I am not aware of any self-respecting female allowing her man to do such a thing. If anything, the poor girl is just not aware of her man’s wandering eye, or has been manipulated by him into thinking it is acceptable.
I was seeing this guy awhile back who was everything a girl could ask for in a college boy. He was kind, considerate, liked to talk, made time for me, had similar interests as me, and, as a bonus, we had great chemistry. Unfortunately, he had a flaw.
His naturally flirtatious personality, which was a turn-on for me, permeated every aspect of his life, no matter what circumstance. It didn’t matter where we were or who we were with, if there was another female in his vicinity, he couldn’t help but make sure her attention was on him. Before we were exclusive, I tolerated this because I falsely believed that since he never forgot to “flirt” with me as well, it was fine.
It wasn’t until after we became exclusive that I realized his actions were making me look foolish. What did it say about me that I was fine with him being all over a random girl at the bar, and then immediately returning to me? We weren’t “bros” and I wasn’t his wing woman, but to everyone around us, we might as well have been.
I brought it up to him on numerous occasions, and he was extremely defensive. Despite all of his good points, I couldn’t pretend that his behavior didn’t bother me and carry on. Our relationship ended specifically because I would not tolerate his behavior, and he refused to accept the fact that his behavior was inappropriate.
Relationships are NOT the equivalent of being single, but coming home to the same girl every night.
Being in a relationship usually requires complete behavior reconstruction, even if you were great friends before. You cannot start a relationship assuming that she should trust you to not actually do anything with the females you are checking out or flirting with. That trust must be earned.
** Hey… no one said it would be easy, just that it is completely worth it for those who are ready for it. **
“the drooling eye syndrome” DES is what I like to call this… it’s quite hilarious actually. Men are found drooling, wandering, loosing focus and stimulated during these periods of time as women pass by or are sitting across the room in a coffee shop or even at a bar. As a man I think it’s understandable but inexcusable to behave in a manner that disrespects anyone including friends, first dates or other guy friends.
What men seem to be forgetting are that lusting eyes means your aren’t ready for a commitment. DES is a very common syndrome found in many men, and the cure for it is self-satisfaction (sounds like self-abuse but on the contrary not really), what I am saying is if a man truly believes he can commit to you (one beloved woman) or is ready for you, then guess what, he has no other reason to be looking at other women.
DES also takes its toll in your relationship as a woman. Describe the circumstance!??!?!!? No matter where you are clicking, and how intimate you two are, you will never be able have a committed man if he feels like he is being controlled. Let him enjoy your company, and let him be himself, don’t let him think other wise. If you want a man to stop wandering or commit adultery as the good book says, then give him a reason not to. Satisfy the relationship in a way that allows you two to communicate all aspects of the love life. Again this is all on the hands of the both of you. Whiney women will never have a man’s heart. They’ll just have his p*n*s.
-HIS satisfaction in life makes him happy to be with you (unsatisfied=DES)
-HER satisfaction in life makes him worth every date (unsatisfied=whiney)
-Communication shows those efforts and carries out an amazing love life.
-A life worth having intimately is worth having sexually!
these points are obviously simplified but we can go in-depth if you choose to email me.
I definitely agree with everything you said. Men need to take some time to travel down the road of self-understanding before they are ready to be in a committed relationship… unfortunately most of them choose to skip over this step (speaking my opinion only of course)