Something happened this weekend that bothered me a lot more than it should have. In general, I’m fine to be bothered by things, despite the concept that you’re not supposed to let someone “live rent free in your head”or something like that, but this… well, lets just say that I’m mad that I’m mad.
There is a person, we’ll call him X, who is not really a friend of mine anymore. He’s one of those friends that I used to be close with, but since we don’t talk anymore we really don’t know anything about each other. This is valid, since people change every day and if you go 6 months barely speaking (which we did), then it stands to reason that we no longer know each other.
However, we have mutual friends in common, so we end up hanging out once or twice a week in groups, so we have one of those special “not-friendships”. Under most circumstances, this would be totally fine. You know, having a friend that’s more of an acquaintance that you hang out with but never speak to, except we used to speak, so it’s kind of awkward.
Regardless, I was willing to just soldier on through it, deal with it occasionally, but then he started getting a little rude and naturally, I wanted to know what was up.
“You annoy me at times. Just you, being you. It’s just who you are, you can’t help it.”
It’s such a simple, small opinion, but it blew my mind.
Now, I’ve had plenty of people try and insult me before, usually complaining about my hair, or my body, or my laugh, or my voice, but this was different. X literally took the time to come at my entire life. Apparently me, the person that I was raised to be, personality, thoughts, opinions, ideas, everything… is annoying.
I don’t even know what to say about that… it shouldn’t bother me, since we are no longer friends, but the idea that there is someone out there who knows the same people that I do and does the same things that I do who is bothered by my very existence, bothers me. But what do you say to that?
Um… sorry for breathing?
I can’t decide what to do.
Should I be the bigger person, ignore his abject rudeness and continue associating with him on a semi-regular basis based on our mutual friends? (That might make him think what he said was okay, though)
Should I let him know exactly how I feel about what he said and that he isn’t to do it ever again, and then continue associating with him on a semi-regular basis based on our mutual friends? (Would he even listen/care about my feelings on the matter?)
Or maybe should I just recognize that he is actually bothered by my existence and avoid any place that he might be at for the rest of the year? (That means he wins, though, right?)
It’s a dilemma, guys.