The First Date was a success. And by success, I mean nothing horribly embarrassing happened to let me know that a follow-up was completely out of the question.
As a quick preamble, I am admittedly not the best when it comes to dating. I tend to order food that refuses to stay in my mouth while I’m eating, wear clothes that act precariously when faced with slight temperature and weather changes, and my brain-to-mouth filter likes to malfunction when in the presence of attractive men.
Regardless, I did an okay job, and I had been waiting to hear back from him for almost four days now. It was getting to the point where whenever my phone buzzed, my stomach jumped into my throat…. and then, as soon as I realized it was only my mother sending yet another one of her newly discovered emoticons with no message, my stomach promptly dropped out of my butt, taking the majority of my internal organs with it and making me feel as though I needed to eat an entire box of mac ‘n cheese.
…It’s okay if this doesn’t happen to you, we’re all different, thank you very much. But honestly, there’s nothing worse than expecting a text from someone and then having every other person in the your contacts text you instead… I always become super popular with my friends as soon as I’m not trying to talk to them.
Giving into temptation, I semi-sullenly make my box of mac ‘n cheese while my roommate looks on in disdain (Mac ‘n cheese again?!), and then plop myself down in front of my overly large IMac to watch some Netflix.
My phone buzzes and I dive for it, accidentally dropping my spoon in my lap. It’s from him… finally.
hey u… what r u doing?
That’s a good question. I look around at myself and frown. I’m sitting on my unmade bed in a fluffy blue bathrobe with bunny rabbits that my mother bought me for my 14th birthday, eating mac ‘n cheese, and quoting the lines from Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 6 (you know, the best one where Willow goes all evil). I can’t tell him that- he’ll think I’m a total dork… in all fairness, I kind of am, but what’s romance without a little mystery? Instead of revealing my potential psychosis with fantasy television series, I opt to take the more deep and intellectual route.
hey! nm… just got home and catching up on some reading. u?
This isn’t even technically considered lying, as in order to select which Buffy episode I wanted to watch, I had to read the episode summaries that Netflix so generously provides when you hover your mouse over the title. Besides, it’s not like he’d be actually interested in what I’m reading- why would he care? It was more of a nonchalant phrase that required a nonchalant answer… my answer made me appear slightly intriguing, intelligent, and carefree. He’ll probably gloss right over it and move on.
oh nice… wat book?
What book? Is he serious? I used to read all the time, but since college started I had kind of drifted away from my more intellectual pursuits (in retrospect, probably not the best idea). My eyes dart frantically around my bedroom and land on the only three books in the entire room, the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Well, I am most definitely not admitting to him that I had both purchased and read the entire series on a whim a month earlier. I need to appear sophisticated and edgy… not desperate and sex-starved. I try to remember the last book I read before those. Oh, right. Harry Potter, book seven… that is unimpressive, I decide to keep that to myself and go for a more exotic choice.
I’ve never read the book, but I saw the trailer for the 2012 film version at the movies a couple weeks ago, so I have a pretty good idea of what it is about… someone named Anna Karenina… played by Keira Knightley.
oh word? thats one of favorite books… Russian lit is the shit
Russian lit? I wonder if the book is in Russian. I wonder if he speaks Russian. I have clearly underestimated this boy (to be fair, on the first date he didn’t appear very well-read…), and this understanding is quickly bumping his sexiness up from a 7 to a 9. *snaps for him* Regardless, I seem to have impressed him with my book expertise, so there really isn’t a reason to stop now…
me too! wow, we have so much in common…
In retrospect that was probably not the best answer, but honestly, how long can two people talk about Russian literature? I mean, it’s Russian literature…
lol thats whats up. whats ur fav Leskov novel?
I resist the urge to roll my eyes, then realize he can’t see me, so I go ahead and roll them anyways. Is he serious? I honestly can’t think of a topic less stimulating than this one. I quickly go to the Wikipedia app on my phone and type in Leskov. I hurriedly skim the article, copy and paste a few choice details, and then slide back to my SMS inbox.
my bad… i was at the end of a chapter in AK and wanted to finish… but yeah its tough to pick but out of all his stuff i guess The Rabbit Warren and the Steel Flea are my favs… to be honest tho his existentialism is a little tiresome overall
I read it over a couple times before hitting send, unsure of the exact meaning of existentialism, but confident on my honed Wikipedia skills if he didn’t buy it immediately.
thats real… u should let me take u out for dinner on friday
Boom. Get at me.