A few friends and I had a long overdue girls night last night. For my group, our girls nights do not consist of the typical mani-pedi/mud face/frozen underwear gossip sessions over margaritas. They are, in fact, fairly stimulating and lively debates about relationships and human interactions.
One of us was having a minor issue with a guy (he hasn’t been as communicative lately/should I text him since he’s not texting me/blah, blah, blah) and, over the course of the evening, while vehemently insisting that under no circumstance should she contact him, we attempted to explain to her why she needed to let him go.
Trust me when I say that is no easy feat.
I’m going to attempt to summarize the gist of our discussion below, since in my opinion, some real gems of knowledge were brought to light for us.
If he’s not texting you back…
It’s because he doesn’t want to. Under rare circumstances, yes, he may not have seen the text or missed call due to an overly aggressive Call of Duty match or an impromptu nap, but for the most part… he saw it. He saw it, and decided that whatever he was doing at the moment was more important than taking thirty seconds of his time to answer you. Fifteen minutes later he probably forgot that you had texted him in the first place, and proceeded to go about his day without an errant thought about you.
When he finally does text you, you may qualify for a weak excuse regarding his extended silence if he thinks you could be miffed (if you will), but most girls aren’t afforded that respect. Usually the text that comes hours later is merely a continuation of your earlier conversation, because you are not important enough for him to be concerned about your feelings.
Texting requires little to no effort for guys. It takes up no time, energy, or brainpower because they put very little thought into them.
If he’s not initiating plans/conversations…
It’s because he doesn’t want to. Under rare circumstances, yes, he could be sitting at home staring at his phone and hoping that you’ll call him first because he doesn’t want to seem overzealous, but for the most part… there are other things he’d rather do than hang out with you (No offense).
In all honesty, in these cases, the only reason he probably returns your texts if he’s not ever initiating is because he’s either bored (not enough to actually hang out with you of course), or he’s decided to keep you around in case you ever make his Top 5 List.
When he finally asks to hang out with you, it’s usually because he’s decided he wants to sleep with you, or all of his other plans got cancelled and he’s realized how lame it actually is to sit in his room all day/night and play video games by himself.
It’s time for us to stop making excuses for them. The truth of the matter is that if you matter, you will know it without a doubt.
** If you have to wonder if someone likes you or not, trust me when I say, they don’t. **