I spent most of my time being confused about what to do and the path I should take when it came to Him, but I finally reached a place where I was fine to be without him, mostly because it is impossible to try and care about someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you.
My mother says it’s like trying to teach a pig to sing… it doesn’t work and all you do is annoy the pig. Funny, but applicable.
Unfortunately for me, using that metaphor, my pig already knows how to carry a tune, he is just afraid to sing because he thinks singing will take up all of his time and make him forget his goals. All emotion aside, this is one of those situations where you have to let it go. You can’t force someone to let go of their fears and if you push too hard, you foster resentment.
I, for some reason, seem to have this mental block. It’s one thing to let someone go because the way they felt about you changed, I get that. Some circumstance happened and they just don’t like you the same way anymore. It hurts, but you deal with it and move on.
But, honestly, how do you let someone go when you know they still feel the same way about you, but they are just scared? That seems like it is the equivalent of giving up on something that you know could be wonderful, but where’s the balance? When does enough become enough and you are forced to recognize that their shortcomings and immaturity will always prevent them from being the person you know they can be?
Finding the balance is hard, because every time I give up on him, he comes back to me a little. It’s like one step forward, two steps back… which, interestingly enough, is still the equivalent of moving backwards, just a lot slower.
If only I could recognize emotionally what I see so easily intellectually.