Men In Uniform

I had a brilliant epiphany the other day while eyeballing the commuter rail attendant on my way to work in the morning.

Ordinarily, my tastes do not steer me towards commuter rail attendants (I’m more of the police officer, soldier, firefighter type), but when pickings are slim, you have to go with what you got.

He’s a fairly attractive, twenty-something Caucasian male with blue eyes, closely shaved hair, friendly smile, and yummy lips.  And yes, he can wear that uniform.

He’s there every single morning on my commute to work.  I smile at him on my way onto the train, we have a brief connection when he checks my monthly pass and says “good morning” in his deep baritone, and he  smiles at me when I leave the train.  #POW

So, after I officially decided that I had a minor thing for him, I proceeded to take every opportunity I could to subtly check out his… well… attributes… if you will.

Nice butt? Check.

Decently sized arms? Check.

Height? eh… half check.

Complexion? Check.

No ring on finger? Check.

I spent the next week or so attempting to subtly display my “growing attraction”, or whatever it is you call what I’m describing, to him.  No response, whatsoever.

I was not offended by this in the least.  I am not the most suave person when it comes to hitting on guys, so this lack of progress could easily be attributed to that.  Whereas I believe that I am making sexy eyes at him from across the train, it could actually look like I am trying not to fall asleep.  Who really knows…

Regardless, after a week of fruitless hairy eyeballing, I decided to take my next, nonverbal leap.  The following Monday, when he came around to check my pass, I flashed him my brightest smile (yes, I spent the weekend brushing with Crest 3D Whitening).  He appeared momentarily dazzled, if I do say so myself, but collected himself and smiled back.  That day, when I exited the train, I was rewarded with a sexy wink in addition to his smile.  Gosh, I wish I could do that.  My winks are usually eye spazzes accompanied by a severe wrinkling of the nose.  Add in my comically opened mouth and we have the epitome of a sexy beast. (Sarcasm…)

However, despite this encouraging progress, an interesting thing happened on the ride home that day.  Another one of the morning commuter rail attendants, who held no interest for me whatsoever, was riding the train as a passenger, and wearing his normal clothes.  This man, who could not wear his commuter rail uniform, dressed quite nicely on a day-to-day basis… attractively so.

It suddenly occurred to me that if this was possible, then so was the reverse.

The next morning, I stared hard at my sexy commuter rail attendant and attempted to picture him in civilian clothing.


What if he dresses like a bum? Or a lax bro? Or a wannabe gangster? Or a hipster?  The possibilities were endless…

My epiphany was this: While men in uniform are undoubtedly hot, they are a LIE!  Who knows what they are really like when they are out of uniform?

The ideal situation would be to meet an off-duty sexy uniform guy and then be pleasantly surprised at his choice of career… or find yourself a regular guy with a stunning bod and dress him up in uniform during your frisky time… 🙂


Regardless, while I still enjoy these brief flirtations every morning (they do give me a reason to dress up since I work with mostly oblivious engineers), I am no longer interested in seeing him outside of the train.

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