I had an interesting text conversation with an old friend regarding relationships and strip clubs and it really made me wonder about all the strife that comes up from the male obsession with strip clubs.
There are two issues here that I see:
Why are men obsessed with going to the strip club?
Why are women threatened by their men going to the strip club?
So for the first issue, there are several responses I have polled from several of my male friends:
“Women that do it for a living are gunna twerk it a different way and guys like that type of power they have over them.”
“It’s just chill I guess, and what guy don’t like seeing half naked girls?”
“Ain’t like ima screw any of them… sometimes a nigga just wanna see some new boobies, na mean. LOL.”
“You don’t have to work for a girl’s attention, you can be demeaning to a woman and they have no choice but to enjoy it”
“Men just wanna be men at times.”
All responses I probably could have figured out on my own…
Nevertheless, I also posed the question to my female friends, and a lot of them were okay with the strip club concept, comically enough based on an understanding of male limitations in their evolution.
“Men are evolutionarily hard wired to want to spread their seed to as many women as possible. Although they may love only one woman, they will always lust after many women.”
“It’s just looking. He looks just as hard on the street but in the end, he’s coming back home.”
“My best relationship would be trust-built… so I wouldn’t have to care.”
“If he’s going with his boys then it’s not a big deal because then at least it wasn’t like he chose to watch a stripper when he could’ve had me.”
“If you’re mad about it then you’re probably thinking about it too much. Men aren’t that deep… they don’t think like that.”
This is very interesting to me. From what I’ve gathered here, it seems that there is a clear discrepancy between what women say they feel about their men and strip clubs, and how they actually feel when the time comes.
Being female and knowing that we are not bipolar, despite boys telling us we are constantly, I can only assume this is directly related to the actions of our men.
I maintain that 99% of relationship problems that women supposedly cause are a direct result of our boys engaging in shifty behavior because they are either A.) being stupid; B.) attempting to punish us; or C.) listening to their equally silly friends.
If you give us cause not to trust you, then we we won’t. Plain and simple. If I trust my man and he wants to pay $20 plus quite a few more $1s to watch another girl shake her goodies onstage, then good for him. However, as soon as that trust is messed with, believe me when I say that the first thing to go will be that girl who thinks she can get money for what I do for free.
As another male friend so aptly put it:
“You know me and my boys… pretty sure we can get some girls over, have them strip/give lap dances… & 9/10 times we’ll actually be able to have sex with them AND keep our money. Win/Win”
SMH Gentlemen. lol
But seriously… even though this post is about strip clubs in particular, it is really also about the dynamic of relationships. Girls really are okay with letting boys do what they need to (within reason) because we understand that you haven’t quite reached the level where you can control your animalistic impulses, just don’t push the envelope.
Pushing the Envelope = Lose/Lose
We, as females, want to trust you, and we want you to be able to go out and do the things you enjoy and have your special male bonding time. Just don’t abuse the privilege and do things that cause jealousy or could ruin trust. Speaking for 97% of females… We are NOT crazy… We are PROVOKED.
*Disclaimer: the other 3% actually are crazy.*