My friend and I went out for drinks the other night at one of the college bars. Over wings, many beers (her), and not-so-many rum and cokes (me), we got to talking about boys, as most girls do.
The conversation really kicked off as she attempted to assist me in the wording of a text message. We spent the better part of ten minutes agonizing over the difference between “Do you wanna“; “U wanna“; or just plain “Wanna“…
…And then the next 30 minutes trying to figure out why a response hadn’t come yet.
Looking back on it, I really can’t help but laugh. We, as females, over think almost everything that we do, say or feel, and as a result, spend way too much time and energy being concerned about how our actions have affected the men in our lives. This really got me wondering…
Why is it that girls go through all of this inner turmoil, and boys don’t? Or is it that they do go through it, but since they don’t talk about it with their friends, no one knows? Or perhaps it is really very obvious that they are going through it, but since the expression of it is so very different from ours, we don’t understand what it is we are seeing…
Classic role reversals always depict females acting callous, indifferent, and casual; you know, the old “I don’t love it… I don’t hate it… Regardless, I’d hit it” mentality. The males are emotional, clingy, and girly, usually screaming about not getting enough attention or being under appreciated.
These role reversals are funny, sure, but they aren’t really “doing it” for me… if you will.
When I am just friends with a guy and we’re texting, I barely take the time to consider the words I am typing, let along the underlying implications they might have. As soon as sexual tension comes into play, every single word becomes a metaphor that needs to be deciphered in every facet before being officially communicated.
Time of text is important, minutes between texts must be adequate, capitalized letters, “lol” placement. and use of emoticons are crucial, and above all, content must be on point.
It’s a lot to process for every text… I’m surprised we haven’t given up texting all together just to prevent gray hairs. I find it horrendously unfair that guys do not go through this… however, my recent understanding of why they don’t go through it makes me feel a little better about it.
Girls are concerned about everything they say or do when interacting with a new guy because they actually care about how that guy views them. We need there to be an appropriate blend of accuracy and attractiveness that comes across in every little thing, and we will take the time to ensure that… and no, that does not mean we are always successful, even though we do try our best.
Boys are not concerned about anything that they say or do when interacting with a new girl because they do not, in fact, care about how she views them. Since all they really want is sex, if they mess it up with one girl, they have lost nothing. True, personalities are unique to each female, but since boys are entirely uninterested in that, the undeniable fact that every girl after her will still have a vagina gives them comfort.
It sounds bad, but that’s why boys are not for dating… men are.
**Side Note** The only true role reversal comes after marriage. After we get the ring, we know you belong to us and therefore no longer need to tread lightly on what we say and do. For men, on the other hand, marriage signifies the start of real work… Afterall: