Drunk Minds Speak Sober Thoughts

Possibly one of the truest statements ever spoken, despite the fact that everyone uses the excuse of being under the influence as a way to discount their words and actions.   

Here’s the key:

Pay attention to what he says when he’s drunk, and then get him to admit it while he’s sober.

One of my favorite things walking around late night Boston is to listen in on the random, drunken conversations going on between people.  It’s usually a girl and a boy off in a corner somewhere either with or without cigarettes, leaning in close (#WhileYouWereSleeping reference) and chatting animatedly.

More times than not she is seizing the opportunity to profess her discomfort with something that he has either done that particular night or something he does on a regular basis, and he is politely listening and wondering how long it will be until she drops her pants.

Occasionally, the roles will reverse, except girls rarely listen to boys talk and hope they will shut up.  Instead, we inappropriately assume that their new-found interest in expression means that we’re finally getting to them on an emotional level and we are one step closer to “girlfriend zone“.  You can always tell which couples this is because the girl always has this absurd, drunkenly hopeful expression on her face.

The reality is that if a boy is taking the time to talk to you about his feelings or something along those lines on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night and you aren’t already in a relationship, he is either really bored with what his boys are doing, trying to make some other girl jealous, or has realized that girls give it up a lot easier if they think they are about to be girlfriended… if you will.

There is, however, a caveat that I need to throw in here, because I realized that in the majority of my posts I fail to actually account for the boys who are actually nice guys.

A quick, brief, and fairly comical preface to that is a story one of my friends recently told me where she was engaged in one of these drunken interactions (the vice versa one), assumed that he was just doing it to get into her pants, and decided to play along with it because she was feeling frisky that particular evening.  Long story short, after a series of mildly entertaining events, he ended up storming out of her apartment declaring how insulted he was that she was playing with his emotions.

I’m going to throw her response in here because it was too good to resist:

“I was like jesus relax?? Like f-ing roll with the punches, guy!”

Terrible story for him, but my point still stands.  There are nice guys out there who aren’t the rule, they are the exception.  Again, the only way you can tell who is who is by not giving it up until you think you know.  At least in that case you can say you did the best you could do if they still tricked you.

What does Steve Harvey call it?  The 90 day rule… that’s a little more intense than my 21 day rule, but for girls who are super afraid of being hurt… helllll yeah!

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