Thus far, in the span of my short, twenty-two years of life, I have come up with a list of random things that should be obvious to females, but for whatever reason, are not. I’ll post them 5 at a time, since I usually also feel the need to explain why these things make the list, and that would get too long for one post.
#1: Do not delete his number directly after he ends things with you.
This only increases your chances of memorizing it because 8/10 relationships continue in some form or fashion after being ‘officially’ ended. When he finally stops hitting you up and it’s time to officially prevent yourself from contacting them, your success rate goes up from 45% to 99% if the number isn’t so deeply etched in your brain you could quick-type it in your sleep. Wait until the last possible moment before deleting a number you truly need to rid yourself of, even if the act is supposed to be your “fuck that nigga” symbol.
#2: Guys and girls cannot ‘just be friends’.
I became platonic friends with a boy because I knew there was no way in hell I would ever be attracted to him like that and so I figured there was nothing to worry about. Late one night, we were sitting in my room chatting about whatever platonic co-ed friends chat about, and we fell asleep, head-to-toe, in my tiny dorm bed. When I groggily awoke several hours later, he was sleepily rubbing my calf. Interestingly enough, lady land, which had been relatively dormant for the last few months, perked right up. Classic friendship destroyer right there… Prior to that, I didn’t even think he could interest me, let alone get me wet. I was so shocked I even went into the bathroom, and yes, there it was: the evidence of my traitorous body. Pay attention, ladies, because inevitably, whatever your body likes, your mind will soon follow suit.
#3: Rudeness = Insecurity
Insecurity rears its ugly head every time someone is rude to you, and college aged students are as insecure as they come, for varying different reasons. Rude things are said to you, about you, around you, all in an attempt to manipulate both you and themselves so that they can achieve a millisecond of relief from their own pathetic, petty insecurities. If a boy puts you down, it’s not because he likes you so much he doesn’t know what to do, it’s because he knows that you are better than him and in an attempt to justify his clumsy and unwanted overtures, he does and says things in a way to make you seem ‘less’ than you are so that he feels worthy.
#4: Sex complicates everything.
Before sex became a factor in my life, I was masterful at controlling my environment (“I say who, I say when, I say how much!” #PrettyWoman), and after sex was introduced… hm… For women, sex is the act of giving yourself to another. It is vulnerable and revealing, and I hate to say it, but 90% of boys will shit on this gift you give them without even fully taking off the wrapper. Do yourself a favor and just wait it out. All girls who say they can have sex without feelings are either A.) Lying to you; B.) Lying to themselves; or C.) have already had their feelings hurt so irreparably that they are damaged goods.
#5: Talking to strangers is normal.
We are a social race of people, muffled by technology. Headphones started the decline of civilization, if you ask me. How else are you supposed to network, grow, and learn if you are unwilling to open yourself up to new people, places, and things? Do yourself a favor and try this experiment: for one week don’t go anywhere with your headphones in, a book in your hands, or fiddling with your phone in public. See who you meet. Guaranteed at like 50% of those people will be worthwhile in some capacity.
Mind blown, right?